The following poem is my adaptation of one written by Lucy, an 8 year old poet whose poem won one of my poetry competitions. Her poem was so effective and full of figurative language (including alliteration, metaphors and personification) that it made me want to see these fabulous animals.
Being keen to learn more and to improve her skills, Lucy gave me permission to rewrite the poem with a specific and consistent rhythm as a means of teaching the concept of rhythm poetry and to show how a few simple changes can vastly improve a poem.
This is Lucy’s poem, revised by myself, to include a regular metre……
Come see the lively, leaping lemurs jump from tree to tree
These furry acrobats perform for everyone to see.
Above, the stripy tails fly through branches all around
Those fancy dancers prancing as we watch them from the ground
Their pointy faces peeping through the green and leafy trees
Meanwhile they rest their fingered paws upon their furry knees.
They walk the tightrope without thought, and with the greatest ease
Their long and fluffy tails swaying gently in the breeze.
A walk in lemur woods is something I would recommend
If you would like to meet this band of special furry friends.
Click here to see Lucy’s original poem alongside this one to see how it changed, and to read the basic teaching on rhythm poetry, learning how to achieve it in your poems by some simple editing. This poem is written in a specific metre called Iambic Heptameter, which is explained in more detail in the BEGINNER’S PAGES, RHYTHM POETRY, and is not as clever as the word suggests! As with most things, the word is a little un-nerving, but the explanation shows it up to be something very simple!
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